Reflecting on the past

Yesterday was bitter sweet for Ross and I both. It was the anniversary of the day that we admitted Connor into the hospital for a feeding tube (at our doctor's advice). Luckily, Connor is doing fantastic today so while we all took a minute recognize how far we've come; we also reflected on the pain that we had to endure only one short year ago.

To be honest August 29th - September 2nd, 2008 was (and always will) mark one of the most painful experiences of my life. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to allow your 5 month old baby to be hooked up to a feeding tube or subjected to a variety of needle pricks, xray's and other tests - none of which provided any answers as to why he couldn't/wouldn't gain weight.

My heart broke every time a doctor or nurse came in to perform a test on him. Connor was scared and uncomfortable. He didn't understand what was happening to him or why he was in this strange place. As a parent you're pre-programmed to protect your child and shield them from pain. Instead Ross and I were forced to sit by and watch as one stranger or another inflicted pain on our sweet angel. And for the entire 5 days that we lived in this hell, we would have done ANYTHING to trade places with him.

Nothing was worse than on the third day, when our doctor made his rounds and my mom asked him, after reviewing all of the test results what he thought the problem was. He looked us straight in the eye and said these EXACT words, "In my professional opinion, I think your son has Cystic Fibrosis." I'll never forget the feeling - it was as though someone had stolen the air from in my lungs. Our entire world - our whole life was hanging on one doctor "opinion" and we would have to wait another two days for the official CF test to be performed (due to Labor Day weekend)

They performed the CF test on Connor on September 2nd (which is also Ross and my mom's birthday). The results would take three hours - the longest three hours of my life. I couldn't sleep or eat, I didn't want to talk to anyone or watch TV. I think we all just took turns cuddling with Connor in complete silence.

Luckily the results were negative!!! We went on to perform genetics tests on all three of us - those results were also negative!! We were discharged that day and Ross and I took our little angel home. After that Connor slowly began to eat more and gain weight. Within just a few short months we were able to get him back on the growth chart (from -15% to +5%) and climbing. Now he's sitting at the 15th percentile and quickly approaching the 25th. Strangely, Connor was never diagnosed with anything. To this day we don't know why he wasn't gaining weight. All I know is that he's doing great now and I hope that we never have to live through an experience like that again.

Splish...Splash...

The conversation went something like this, Me - "Do you know where Connor is?" Ross - I don't know, I think he's in the kitchen, why? Me - "Uhmmm, What's that noise?" OMG! CONNOR - NOOO!!!!





By the way, check out his flashy PJ's. :)

Dilemma

There's a big fury obstacle standing between Connor and a toilet that's just begging to be flushed...what to do...what to do...











Notice that Morgan didn't even lift her head for this. She's a fantastic dog, but sometimes we have to check her pulse to made sure she's still with us.

Four out of five dentists recommend it

So I had a decision to make...do I take a few pictures first OR take the bone away as quickly as possible? I struggled with it for 1/2 a second and then ran for the camera. A few germs won't hurt him too much. Luckily it was a new bone...

Save a cow, eat a cheeto...

Connor's doing fantastic these days! Not only is he walking like a pro, but he's finally found his appetite. It's about damn time! This kid has seriously kicked it into overdrive and has no trouble packing in more than 1000 calories per day (on average). And at the rate he's going, he'll likely jump up to the next growth curve at his 18 month checkup appointment. Finger's crossed...

Don't get me wrong there are still some things we're struggling with, but in general it's gotten much, much better. For example, we're still having a hard time getting Connor to eat solid foods although we're finding out that it's based more on preference than ability. For example, he'll refuse "adult" food but give him some cheetos and he'll start filling his cheeks like a chipmunk who's storing food for the winter. He's more than happy to eat cookies, pickles, strawberries, graham cracker and of course, cheetos however, offer him some hot dogs or cooked carrots and he'll lock it down tighter than Fort Knox. Oh my...

On another note, Connor's learned to read!! We've been working with flash cards to help his speech (or lack thereof) and even though we're still waiting for a major breakthrough in the speech department, he's really catching on. Ok, so before you think that I'm full of crap, here's how I know that my son can in fact - read. When we hold up a flash card that says "Wave", he'll wave...hold up a card that says "arms up" and he'll raise his arms up over his head..."ear" and he'll point to his ear, "clap" and he'll start clapping. Of course I'm completely pumped about this new breakthrough - partly because it helps to prove that Connor's just a normal kid who got off to a slow start...but also (and more importantly) because I can't wait to tell his pediatrician to "stick it" the next time she brings up potential developmental delays.

Bedhead

A picture's worth a 1000 words...