To be honest August 29th - September 2nd, 2008 was (and always will) mark one of the most painful experiences of my life. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to allow your 5 month old baby to be hooked up to a feeding tube or subjected to a variety of needle pricks, xray's and other tests - none of which provided any answers as to why he couldn't/wouldn't gain weight.
My heart broke every time a doctor or nurse came in to perform a test on him. Connor was scared and uncomfortable. He didn't understand what was happening to him or why he was in this strange place. As a parent you're pre-programmed to protect your child and shield them from pain. Instead Ross and I were forced to sit by and watch as one stranger or another inflicted pain on our sweet angel. And for the entire 5 days that we lived in this hell, we would have done ANYTHING to trade places with him.
Nothing was worse than on the third day, when our doctor made his rounds and my mom asked him, after reviewing all of the test results what he thought the problem was. He looked us straight in the eye and said these EXACT words, "In my professional opinion, I think your son has Cystic Fibrosis." I'll never forget the feeling - it was as though someone had stolen the air from in my lungs. Our entire world - our whole life was hanging on one doctor "opinion" and we would have to wait another two days for the official CF test to be performed (due to Labor Day weekend)
They performed the CF test on Connor on September 2nd (which is also Ross and my mom's birthday). The results would take three hours - the longest three hours of my life. I couldn't sleep or eat, I didn't want to talk to anyone or watch TV. I think we all just took turns cuddling with Connor in complete silence.
Luckily the results were negative!!! We went on to perform genetics tests on all three of us - those results were also negative!! We were discharged that day and Ross and I took our little angel home. After that Connor slowly began to eat more and gain weight. Within just a few short months we were able to get him back on the growth chart (from -15% to +5%) and climbing. Now he's sitting at the 15th percentile and quickly approaching the 25th. Strangely, Connor was never diagnosed with anything. To this day we don't know why he wasn't gaining weight. All I know is that he's doing great now and I hope that we never have to live through an experience like that again.
2 comments:
I'm sorry that you and Ross EVER had to endure that pain in your life. And I'm so sorry that Connor, as such a young and beautiful baby, had to go through all of it! That completely breaks my heart! I'm so grateful and happy that he is doing so well! You & Ross are amazing parents and I pray for the health of this new baby!!
When is your due date? I have a neice due 11/2 and a nephew due 11/16.....and then AC is on baby #3 due 12/26!! It's literally a baby boom!!! I can't wait!
I'm sorry you had to endure all of this pain w/ your child being 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. It's just never easy. Avery was in a Dr.'s office weekly w/ ear infections and I hated every moment of it for her. I can't imagine what you felt dealing w/ something much worse. Your a wonderful Mom who has endured a lot and shows that there just is nothing we won't do for our children. We carry our hearts on our sleeve and it's called a Mother's Love! I can't wait to see baby #2!!!!
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