Get out, get out, get out!!!

I’m full term today which means that our precious little bundle is technically ready to face the world. His/her legs, arms, eyes, ears and lungs are all fully developed…so what’s the hold up?
Why am I left to suffer these last few weeks if the “bun” if fully cooked? Picture finally making it to the front of the line at the post office during the Christmas rush. You’ve been waiting in line for hours and you’re really excited about being the very next customer served…then BAM – they throw up a sign that says “out to lunch”. Ugh!

Without sounding like the worst mother on the face of the planet, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m officially serving this baby with an eviction notice. “Dear baby, This is your first warning to vacate the premises. Failure to comply will result in spicy foods, trampoline bouncing and other labor inducing activity.”

If the eviction notice doesn’t work, then I have a few other tricks up my sleeve. Little does this baby know that it has a very determined and resourceful mother waiting for it on the outside. Here are a few of the things that I have working in my favor right now…

Full Moon – it’s well documented that an overwhelming number of women go into labor when there’s a full moon. After doing a little research and consulting the 2008 lunar calendar, I discovered that the next full moon is on the 22nd…next Friday, so get ready baby.

Doctor on Vacation – if you guys have been following out blog, then you know how much trouble we’ve had with the doctor. So when Ross and I heard that he was going on vacation next week, our chances of going into labor increased exponentially.

My Entourage – animals sense seizures and strokes, so who says they can’t sense labor. I’m not joking when I say that I can’t go anywhere without a four legged entourage. Do they know something that I don’t know?? It’s as if I’ve turned into Evan Almighty overnight. They wait for me outside the shower door, climb in bed with me for naps and sit at my feet while I eat dinner. It’s like Ross doesn’t exist and I’m the leader of the animal kingdom.

Now while I like to think that these three things give me the upper hand, I know realistically that the baby’s in the driver’s seat for this one. What pains me the most is that for once in my life, I have absolutely no control over when, where or how this baby will make its grand entrance. But that won’t stop me from trying, so baby – if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out now.